Pope Terry Paul Shiavo Deathwatch

I am so glad that Terry Shiavo has finally died. There are several reasons, but one of the main ones is that maybe now the news-media fixation on her will end.

I'm especially glad that she died before the pope. Now, I'm not at all a fan of Pope John Paul II. I think he (with his whole cadre of cardinals and priests and whatnot) is a theological fraud, and I disagree with his positions on a whole bunch of worldly issues. But he is an important person. He commands the devotion of countless Roman Catholics around the world, and the respect of even more. What he says and what he does matters. Even his dying will matter, because it will lead to the crowning of a new pope, who'll probably have similar influence. A deathwatch for him is news-worthy. And I would be offended if - in the scenario that Shiavo outlived him by a couple days - his death were upstaged by hers.

The Terry Shiavo case was not in itself of any signficance outside the small circle of people who knew her and know her family. Contrary to the way the media portrayed it, there were no groundbreaking legal issues involved. Family members can - and do - make life-or-death decisions about incapacitated patients all the time. Continuing or discontinuing care for someone in her condition is a painful decision that loved ones have been faced with for years. (Even the famous Karen Ann Quinlan case in the 1970s was simply the first time it had gone through the courts.)

The only thing that made this case at all noteworthy (at least at first) was the fact that her husband and her parents were diametrically at odds in making the decision. It was nothing more than a pissing match and turf war between them.

Of course it became noteworthy as the Republicans in Congress and the president got involved, passing special legislation to go shopping for a judge who'd set some kind of "right to life" precedent with it. But the judiciary actually did its job responsibly this time, and not even the judicial activists on the Supreme Court would play along.

As it happens, I would probably make the same choice as Mr. Shiavo, and I'm relieved that his wishes finally prevailed. But you know what? If it had been his decision to keep her alive, I'd support that too. It was his decision to make. It has to be. It sure as hell isn't the U.S. Congress' or the president's or even a judge's. And no, I don't think it was her parent's decision to make.

We have this strange way of treating parent-child relationships. I understand where it comes from, biologically and sociologically, but I still think it's irrational and even pathological. Children who are still minors are treated almost as if they were the property of their parents. And here we have an adult woman's parents insisting that their relationship with her trumps that of her husband. This is the man she chose to spend the rest of her life with, to share finances with, and so on. That's her "next of kin". Did her parents not grasp the symbolism of "giving her away" at the wedding? It doesn't mean their relationship with her doesn't matter, and there are certainly circumstances (e.g. abuse) where a spouse's legal relationship shouldn't matter, but in ordinary circumstances, if it's going to be a contest, the spouse really ought to "win".

The main problem here is that her parents were too messed up to accept the truth: their daughter was gone. Her life was over... years ago. They were still stuck in denial, convincing themselves that - because her body was functioning - she was still alive... and could get better. Sure, it's conceivable that a miracle would restore her to health. It's also conceivable that a miracle will restore my dead-and-cremated grandmother to health. That doesn't make it sane to hold onto such a hope.

The world seems to be better adjusted to the prospect of John Paul II dying. People are praying for him and so on, but it seems like it's only tastefulness that holds the news media back from pronouncing him dead. He may not be clinically dead, but he's rather obviously no longer functioning as Pope, so everyone's getting ready for the inevitable: the selection of a new one. That's a bit more well-adjusted than Terry Shiavo's parents, I'd say.