Public Squeaking

I am not a great public speaker. Never have been and never will be.

I do OK when I know ahead of time exactly what I'm going to say, or when people are asking me simple questions about something I know really well. But I'm definitely a writer, not an orator.

To some extent I blame this on my parents, who gently but very persistently corrected my grammar when I was a kid. "May I have a cookie." "Give it to me quickly." It was good for me because it taught me how to use language carefully and correctly. But I now spend so much time trying to proofread myself before I talk, that people sometimes think I have a speech impediment. It's darn close to stuttering sometimes.

I'm also a very shy and private person. I do not like to be the center of attention, whether it's in a group of two or two million. My social skills are also kinda shaky, and it makes me fucking nervous to have people watching them. So I tend to say the wrong thing, which can get me into trouble.

But you know what?

George W. Bush makes me come across like the bastard love child of Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King Jr. in comparison.